I got my first ‘haters’ online this week.
It was actually a really great feeling. This not might be the reaction you’d expect but I got a feeling of excitement after some vicious comments started appearing on a Kidspot interview I had done.
A few years ago when I made the decision as Brene Brown puts it to ‘step inside the arena’ and play bigger. It was at that time that I said to myself,
‘Are you really ready for this?’
Because I had seen what was happening to my friends when they put themselves out there by writing books, going on tv, and had something to say and pushed through any fear to say it. They have been slammed personally and it’s pretty awful to see, especially when there are threats against them and their families.
So I asked myself, was I truly up for criticism, because I do not deal with criticism well at all. Any type of conflict situation, something that is going to result in me having to stand up for myself in the face of someone I perceive as very strong and bully-like, I’m like a little mouse. Even thinking about it my stomach starts to clench and I feel a strong desire to run away.
But when I asked myself the question and dug deep to find the answer, it was a very strong, definite YES. That’s because I want to be in the arena throwing some punches. In order to do that I know I have to be getting kicked around a bit myself.
So I looked at these online comments, took a very deep breath (well about ten of them) and I thought, Ok. Here we go.
1. This is a sign I’m getting somewhere. If I wasn’t getting through to people, if my message wasn't getting out there, then I wouldn’t have any ‘haters’.
2. I need to practise compassion - what is going on in this person’s life for her to write in this way. I could feel the sadness/shame/overwhelm underneath the anger. This was not about me. Is there something I could say to make her feel understood or not alone?
3. If I’m going to be in the ring, taking punches, playing big, I have to get myself in peak condition. I have to be fit, have endurance, be well, to have the energy to be not only in the ring but also back at home with energy left for my family. To have what it takes physically and mentally to rise back up from receiving a knock out punch, I need to have my mental health in order by taking little moments to move, meditate and give back to myself.
Because the haters going to hate, hate, hate.